Violence jokes
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore, it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
People judge me because I'm quiet.
No one plans a massacre out loud.
Where did Lucy go in the bombing... Everywhere.
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...
What kind of punch hurts a kid the most?
A sandy hook.
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
How many times does 47 fit into 9?
Get in the van and find out.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got excited and asked if I could drive a plane.
Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!
Rape is so outdated, but when you pay them money, it is a popular date!
So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.
But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."
So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.
This was the best day of my life.
This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.