Violence

Violence jokes

Study

Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!

Magazine

Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

Assault

Today was a bittersweet day...

Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!

Halo

Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo, so I gave them a halo.

Hamster

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

Girl

What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?

Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.

Police Officer

How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?

Push?! He fell...

Baby

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.

Rape

Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.

Shooting

What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?

The child has no trouble shooting.

Eye

Why did Sally get a black eye?

Because she tried to play patty cake.

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  • Girl Scout

    What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?

    ...A girl scout that got hit by a car.

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  • Johnny

    Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.

    He won’t stand against the three of us!

    Rapist

    What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?

    At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.