Violence jokes
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."
What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!
How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
Watersharky pega Gwen.
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.
Then I waited for the results.
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?
The feather.
The rope stopped the kid.
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
What are American schools?
Shooting ranges.
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!