What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
Violence Jokes
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to 10 trees.
I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!
I raped a disabled child.
I think she's too far gone to repair now.
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.
What's red and white and goes 250 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender ;)
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
A student got a bad letter grade, so the next day he came back with his own letter grade in his backpack: an A-K47.
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
