Violence jokes
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂
What do you do when you're bored?
I beat up orphans.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to 10 trees.
I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!
I raped a disabled child.
I think she's too far gone to repair now.
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.