Violence jokes
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.
So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.
The next day I saw a dead orphan.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It’s not like they can tell their parents.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,
It's great being a sniper.
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.