Violence jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.
So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.
The next day I saw a dead orphan.
Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂