Violence jokes
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.
The next day I saw a dead orphan.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
Memes
tryna catch a body??
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to 10 trees.
I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"