Violence jokes

Teacher: What month is it?

Quiet kid: AUG-ust.

Classroom: Visible concern.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.

When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!

What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?

The school shooter will always spare you.

When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,

but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.

*Is honestly the best policy.*

I took a special needs child to a shooting range.

Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.

A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.

How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?

By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4

LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”

Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.

I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...

What do you do when you're bored?

I beat up orphans.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂

A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!

What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?

They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.

Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.

Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.

Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?

Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!

I will never forget my mother and father's last words.

"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree?

One baby nailed to 10 trees.

I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!