Violence jokes
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.
But no one would do it.
What does Sonic say when he's bored?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck 'em.
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw the baby.
Here is a joke: Rape.
Why did the little boy cry? He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
The ice cream man tried to murder me today.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
How do you get a clown to stop smiling?
You shoot him in the face.
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.