Violence jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.

I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.

What would they do? Go to their family?

Want to know what I do in my freetime?

Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?

I beat both of them.

What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you told them twice.

Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?

They get choked.

The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.

What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?

One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.

How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?

By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4

LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”

Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.

I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree?

One baby nailed to 10 trees.

I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!