Violence jokes
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a "fret."
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you ain't already told her twice.
What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.
Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.
Silence...................punch!
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: A nun falling down the stairs.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
God bless the shooting that happened.
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
"Rapeboat" has six fingers on each hand and one big eyebrow. Signs of inbreeding.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"
The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"
The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"
The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?