Violence jokes
What's the difference between an onion and a baby?
One makes you cry when you cut it up.
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to ten trees.
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello, and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
Like if your dad is abusive.
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league!"
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.