Violence

Violence jokes

Assault

    • A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.

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    • Rap

    • I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.

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    • Baby

    • What's worse than a dead baby?

    A pile of dead babies.

    What's worse than that?

    One's alive at the bottom.

    What's even worse than THAT?

    It eats it's way out.

    Wait it gets worse...

    It goes back for seconds.

    Just one more I swear...

    It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.

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    • Violence memes

    Hunter

    • I’m about to tell you the funniest joke I heard:

    Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls emergency services. The operator then hears the problem and says, “Well, let’s make sure he’s dead.” A shot is then heard. The other guy says, “Ok, now what?”

    Did you laugh?

    Ass

    • What is it called when you whoop a donkey?

    A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.

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    • Kid

    • When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,

    other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."

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    • Teacher

    • Teacher: What comes after C?

    Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!

    Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?

    Me: AK47!!!

    Teacher thought: Oh hell na.

    Teacher: What comes after X?

    Me: Xplosin.

    1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.

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    • Story

    • True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.

    The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"

    Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"

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    • Apple

    • An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away. if you throw it hard enough.

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    • Dude

    • A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."

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    • Clock

    • Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?

    It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.

    Suicide

    • Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide

    Me: Aren't they the same thing?

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    • Man

    • A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"

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