Violence jokes
I kicked the shit out of Little Johnny.
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
What’s the difference between a cat and a dog? It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.
"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."
If you kill an orphan, would that count as a squad wipe?
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
What is 1 + 1?
They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.
Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"
He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!
I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.
What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?
Special Forces incoming!
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.