Violence jokes
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist? A suicide bomber actually does something when triggered.
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
What is red and goes 200 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender.
During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.
Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.
Where do suicide bombers go after death?
Everywhere.
What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?
Kentucky Fried Children!
What's it called when you eat those same babies?
Finger Lickin' Good!
An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.... 🥵🤣
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
So I laughed at their chalk outline.
How do you make a baby cry? You run over it with a lawn mower.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...