Violence jokes

What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday? Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.

John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.

Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?

A microwave won't brown your meat.

Why did Sally get a black eye?

Because she tried to play patty cake.

I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.

What's the difference between an onion and a baby?

One makes you cry when you cut it up.

So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no balls, neither will you. 🔪🔪

Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I have a gun,

GET IN THE VAN!!

What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?

Guns only have one trigger.

What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?

Bathbomb.

What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?

They both squeal when you throw them.

How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)