Violence jokes
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
I took out my mother-in-law, being a sniper, I'd fun.
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.... 🥵🤣
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?
I wasn't cut out for running today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
How do you make a baby cry? You run over it with a lawn mower.
What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?
"Will you listen now?!??"
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.