Violence jokes
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater...
He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
Memes
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
I'm a rapist.
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
How did the Indian suicide bomber blow himself up?
He pressed the red button.
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.