Violence jokes

When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick, I’d throw it at you.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.

My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.

Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.

A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.

Bullets.

"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.

"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.

"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"

"You getting kicked out, bro?"

"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."

"Is she one of them woke bitches?"

Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?

My stepdad beat my ass before he left.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you haven't told her twice.

Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.

Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"

A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"

One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."

Where did Sarah go after the bombing?

Everywhere. 💀

When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.

What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?

Helen Killer.

My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.

I'm in the alagba association. Call 666-666-666 to join the gang. It's free and free kills duidui.