Violence jokes

A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.

To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."

He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!

It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.

Why was the American kid late to school?

Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.

If you punch an orphan, they can't do anything; they can't tell their parents.

No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!

I never get school shooting jokes.

Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."

What's black and white and red all over? A police brutality case.

A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!

A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"

Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

How do you make a baby cry? You punch it in the face.

Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.

Sadly, he didn't see it coming.

Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."

Off the nearby cliff.

"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"