Violence jokes
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
What's black, white, and red all over?
Lossvagus school shooting.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
How do make an adult cry?
Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.
Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.
Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?
Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
Like if your dad is abusive.
I slit my wrists.
"What's worse than 10 dead babies stapled to a tree?"
"What?"
"1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees!"
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.