Violence jokes
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
"Rape is funny until it's your little sister or daughter getting raped."
the face of a murderer
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
The students at Columbine needed books, but all they got were magazines.
So, I met this girl and she was a 9 out of 10. I met this other girl who was 7 years old. The 7-year-old ate my 9 out of 10 girl because 7 was a psychopath.
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
If you kill an orphan, would that count as a squad wipe?
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
Why are Americans so good at shooting?
We have the best schools for it.
Roses are red, my name is Dan...
TDM, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
What a school shooter's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.