Violence jokes

Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"

Shooter: "Oops."

LMAO, what is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other's just a watermelon.

What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.

What's black and white and red all over?

A police brutality case.

You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.

Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.

I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂

Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!

First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"

HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"

When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

I ran over three disabled kids.

"Cripple kill."

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 7 feet?

The finish line at the marathon bombing.

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."

Off the nearby cliff.

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.

Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

What's Adam's biggest fear?

Andy with a belt.

How do you make a baby cry?

You punch it in the face.

Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?