Violence jokes
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
Vote for the better joke.
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?
So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Turn the comments into a school shootout ;)
A student got a bad letter grade, so the next day he came back with his own letter grade in his backpack: an A-K47.