Violence jokes

When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."

How do terrorists feed their babies?

Here comes the airplane...

HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹

What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?

The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.

What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.

There was an enemy with a machine gun.

My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."

So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.

I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.

But I can break yours today, hopefully.

I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...

But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.

I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.

A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."

He was in the infantry.

How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?

With a blender.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."

When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.

How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.

You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.