Violence jokes
Why did the clown fall off his bike?
Because the neighbor threw a washing machine at him.
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.
They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
How did the Indian suicide bomber blow himself up?
He pressed the red button.
What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀