Violence jokes
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
There is one rapist among us.
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀
*School shooting happens.*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*
American student: "First time?"
Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"
American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."
When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.