Violence jokes
What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to ten trees.
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
Like if your dad is abusive.
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen.
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck 'em.
My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.
I'm a rapist.
An apple a day keeps a doctor away... at least if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they're going to tell their parents.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her.