Violence jokes
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
Why did the clown stop smiling?
Someone chopped his lips off.
How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.
You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
What's black and white and red all over? A police brutality case.
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
How do you make a baby cry? You punch it in the face.
So I told my sister, "Want [to] hear some jokes?" and she was like, "Hit me with [your] best shot, fire away," and I was like, "Okay, I know [you're] singing an old song, yeah I was trying to see if [you] sing too," and I said, "Who do [you] think I am, Chris Brown?"
If you're bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
I never get school shooting jokes.
Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.