Violence jokes

How do you turn a baby into a dog?

Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!

What's better than throwing dead babes?

Catching them after with a pitchfork.

I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.

Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.

The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"

When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.

When is rape normal?

When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.

What goes pop pop sizzle sizzle?

Two dead babies in an acid bath.

My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.

A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies?

One at the bottom that's still alive.

What's worse than that?

It's forced to eat its way out.

What's even worse than that?

It comes back for seconds.

What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.

What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.

"Rape is funny until it's your little sister or daughter getting raped."

I put a pipe bomb in an orphanage. 🤡🤡

What goes 200 mph and is red?

Babies in a blender.

What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?

Her miscarriage.

I saw a man trying to rape a dog. I decided to help. The dog can't stand a chance against the both of us.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.

Then I waited for the results.

Gun + Backpack = Fun!

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?