Violence jokes
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.
Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?
Because that's the average class size in America.
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (😌): I know, right?
My therapist told me time heals wounds, so I stabbed him, and now we wait.
If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.
Why did Billy fall off his bike?
Because his dad threw a chair at him.
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.