Violence jokes

Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.

I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.

How do you turn a baby into a dog?

Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!

About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater...

He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

How do you make a pink Smurf?

You peel the skin off.

My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."

I said, "You wanna bet?"

Bam, a gunshot!

Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.

What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.

A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."

Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.

How do you make a builder cry?

Kill his family.

What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?

School shooter.

What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.

I'm a rapist.

What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

How did the Indian suicide bomber blow himself up?

He pressed the red button.