Violence jokes

If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?

Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.

How do you make a baby cry? You punch it in the face.

What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?

It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

One if you throw it hard enough.

Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡

Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

When you get caught about to shoot up the school,

*slowly puts AR to chin*

One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.

To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."

He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

POV: Your mum is a bomber.

I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."

What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl? A blender. What's the best way to get them out? A blender.

If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?

My dick while I'm doing it.

What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? One alive at the bottom.

Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender? Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?