Violence jokes

It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.

I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.

What's the difference between meat and fish?

If you beat your fish, it'll die.

What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.

How do you avoid getting raped? Never say no.

What do you call a swimming terrorist?

A bath bomb.

What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.

I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.

I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.

I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.

Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."

What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.

Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.

What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.

What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.

What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.

People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.

Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.

What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?

They can blow themselves up.

Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.

How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail its hand to the floor.

When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.