Violence jokes

I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.

What's the difference between meat and fish?

If you beat your fish, it'll die.

When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.

What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.

How do you avoid getting raped? Never say no.

What do you call a swimming terrorist?

A bath bomb.

What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.

Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.

What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.

What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.

What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.

How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.

I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.

I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.

Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."

What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.

People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?

Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore, it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.

Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.

If a white cop had a black dick, would he beat it to death?