Violence

Violence Jokes

Suicide Bomber

It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.

Murder

I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.

Meat

What's the difference between meat and fish?

If you beat your fish, it'll die.

Mime

I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.

Kid

What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.

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  • Rape

    I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.

    Last Word

    I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"

    Watermelon

    What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.

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  • Man

    I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.

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  • Bullet

    What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.

    Rape

    Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."

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  • People

    People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?

    Sally

    Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

    Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

    What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.

    Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

    What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.

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  • Kid

    Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.

    Baby

    How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail its hand to the floor.

    Terrorist

    What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?

    They can blow themselves up.