Violence jokes

What's the difference between a baby and a brick?

A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.

(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

If you punch an orphan, they can't do anything; they can't tell their parents.

My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!

1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.

Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?

How do terrorists feed their babies?

Here comes the airplane...

HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹

"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"

"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan mosque." Damn, that's a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.

"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""

"You stabbed my brother!"

"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"

How many thots have I bullied?

Three. The rest are dead.

Q: What did I find on my son's search history?

A: Where is the nearest gun shop?

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.

He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It's not like it can tell its parents.

Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?

Because that's the average class size in America.

Did you hear about the bank robber?

Turns out he got shot by the police.

And he wound up in prison.

Q: What is Chris Brown's #1 Hit? A: Rihanna

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.