Violence jokes

Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?

A blender.

How do you get them out?

A straw.

Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.

What's a school shooter's favorite flower?

Columbine.

Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."

what's the difference between an onion and a baby?

nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.

We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.

How do you circumcise a redneck?

You kick his sister in the jaw.

I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.

There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.

Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.

Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.

How do you start a rave?

Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.

When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!

Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."

Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."

Classroom: *visible panic*

Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?

Because it's a battlefield.

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...