Violence jokes
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
You kick his sister in the jaw.
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?
Where do suicide bombers go after death?
Everywhere.
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.