Violence jokes
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.
Katsuki Bakugou went into a bar and said: "Where is that damn nerd?!?". Everyone was confused.
Bakugou says: "Tell me where Deku is or I'll kill you!" He kills them all because they all have green hair.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
What does lmao launching missiles at orphanage mean?
I don't know, but it's messed up.
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
So I told my sister, "Want [to] hear some jokes?" and she was like, "Hit me with [your] best shot, fire away," and I was like, "Okay, I know [you're] singing an old song, yeah I was trying to see if [you] sing too," and I said, "Who do [you] think I am, Chris Brown?"
How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)
How do make an adult cry?
Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.
During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.
Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.
Bullets.
When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.
What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?
"Will you listen now?!??"