Violence jokes

Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?

Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.

Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?

Because he had a crush on her.

So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a Glock aimed at you.

There is a Mexican sitting on a train.

The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."

The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.

He asked for a shot of beer?

He got shot and killed.

Why did Mom cross the road?

To kill you!

Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.

ble get get get gettttt pull the glock pew pew pew pew pew thats the silencer BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

"Kill yourself."

"Kill me yourself, pussy."

So, I met this girl and she was a 9 out of 10. I met this other girl who was 7 years old. The 7-year-old ate my 9 out of 10 girl because 7 was a psychopath.

What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?

Slit your wrists.

Why did the little girl cry twice?

Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

102, if you have some alive ones.

I was gonna go to a shooting gallery, but I realized that schools aren't open on Sundays.

How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

I punched you so hard that I'll call you "Droppy Pussy."

Leo: Mom?

Mom: Yes!

Leo: Is rape good?

Mom: NO!

Leo: Good cause I raped someone!

Mom: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!