The 25+ Best Lipstick Jokes

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.

90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist

How did Rihanna find out? Chris Brown was cheating on her Found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other? Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?

To make up her mind.

Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick and I accidentally gave her the glue stick. She won't talk to me any more.

The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight soon they will make up

What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants? Michael Jackson's lipstick.

Why did the girl 👧 bring lipstick 💄 to beauty school?

Because she had a make-up exam.

The other day my Girlfriend asked me to hand her, the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind

your mama's so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind

Yo mama so stupid she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon. 3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.” 4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. 5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river. 6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils. 7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope. 8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves. 9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match. 10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee. 11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”). 12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted. 13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff. 14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat. 15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball. 16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing. 17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.