GOLDEN

Registered on · No followers yet · Last active 2 years ago

What does my dad have in common with Nemo? They both can’t be found.

My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.

Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.

Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year it's still printing

Your mama so fat when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the pactfic ocean

You are so fat Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix it!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

Students: "Sad"

Teacher: "Anyway, is anyone missing?"

Students: "Your parents!"

Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.

What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?

They have a history of separating colors.

Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.

I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital? Reload and keep shooting

roses or red voilets are blue the childern are fast but elmo is faster bow down to your master