Violence jokes

Why do school shooters have the best shots?

They train at the best schools. 🤣🤣🧇🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂

What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.

Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.

What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?

One won't scream when you remove their meat.

What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?

When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.

My brothers kept annoying me.

I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.

It was an empty threat—right after I was done.

How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?

With a blender.

If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?

The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.

I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.

Can I pin your corpse to a tree?

What is red, white, and goes round and round?

A baby in a blender.

"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.

"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.

"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"

"You getting kicked out, bro?"

"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."

"Is she one of them woke bitches?"

How to make a baby make funny faces?

Put it feet first in a blender.

There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.

One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."

The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."

The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"

Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?

Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.

Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?

Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.

Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.

An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."

A man goes to a motel room and sees a woman tied up and she said, "Help me please!" He had to do some forceful thinking.

What does a dead baby look like?

I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.