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Violence

Violence jokes

During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.

He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.

There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.

I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.

Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

Teacher: Tell me a moral story.

Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.

Teacher: What is the moral even?

Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.

I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.