An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him. What is his one liner? I told you to stop running or you will get tired.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
If a person shoot's a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful or is it murder?
Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.
The Lego broke in half.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.
Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people, then it exploded.
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
the day after chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the Movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.
Chuck Norris can drift with a horse.
Chuck Norris and medusa had a staring contest medusa turned to stone
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance and I'm tired of it. Today I push him out of his wheelchair.
I can explain Superman and Batman movie in one sentence
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
i went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man." I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
the way u talk is so slow that the put u in the movie fast and furious and changed the title to slow and serious!!!😂😂😭