Violence jokes

What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.

My therapist said: "Time heals all wounds."

I shot her, now we wait.

The school shooter when the cops show up be like:

"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"

Mommy says, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play."

A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter.

Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so I took the scissors and cut them off."

Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.

One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.

Man 1: Knock knock.

Man 2: Who's there?

Man 1: Ice.

Man 2: Ice who?

Man 1: I crushed your head.

There is one rapist among us.

Who's Joe?

Joe rapes.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answer:

The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

What are American schools?

Shooting ranges.

What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?

That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.

I never get school shooting jokes.

Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.

I'm in school shooting. #USA

How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?

Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What does a terrorist get for Christmas?

A C4.

Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.

Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"