New Violence Jokes - Page 58 - Worst Jokes Ever

My therapist said time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.

How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

35! Do you have a problem with that?

What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.

What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.

What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.

Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.

How many children does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.

When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"

When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?

This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.

I wonder where the bodies are?

I took my mother-in-law out today...

I love being a sniper.

VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.

LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.

Today my idiot brother screamed, "Ahhhhh, I'm dead!" But it wasn't really, so I decided to make it a reality until my sister came...

AND HELPED ME! - for once, but then two minutes later my mom showed up. We killed him right in front of her, and she screamed! "Donuts and pizza for you and more if you go to Mrs. Roberts' house and say hi and bye to Daddy!!!!!" And she hands us both a sharp tool, and I say, "What about Tommy??!!! Aren't you MAD!!!!!!!" Then she replied, "Who's THAT!!??? Coz he ain't mine. His name is Tommy, Tommy Roberts."

So then me and my sister visit Mrs. Roberts, and she said, "Oh, this isn't anything important. Go home!" So then my sister and I say hi! and do a countdown. After that my Nike white jumper had turned red! IT WAS A MUCH BETTER COLOUR, MUM SEEMED TO APROVE AS WELL! 😊😊😊 But then the police question us where daddy was, so then Mom said....................... oh he's moved on! So then the police officer was like, "Ahem, ma'm where!" SO THEN I BELLOWED.......................... UP - UR -A##. And we got let off the hook, then we moved oh and we k!lled the cop 2 and oh did i meantion we HAD a maid, and a landlord and a cat but they were all 2 annoying so we got rid of them and now our new backyard is very smellyyy and i dont think there is enoff space to put muummy anymore so now i dont think sissy will fit either🧐 i will ask my neibour nessy she'll obviously say YES or ill........................................

ok like for part two☺☺☺