Violence jokes
When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
Billy and Bobby were walking to school one day. Billy pulled out an mp3 player.
"What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just something to zone out the other kids," Billy responded.
The next day, Billy and Bobby were walking to school. Billy rummaged through his backpack and pulled out an mp4 player this time.
"Woah! What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just a lil something to shut out the annoying kids at school," Billy responded.
The next day, Bobby noticed Billy's backpack was particularly heavy looking. Billy rummaged through his backpack just outside the school and pulled out an mp5 rifle.
"Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that for?" Bobby gasped.
"Nice huh? This'll shut those fuckers up for good!" Billy replied.
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special Forces.
My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
This kid lost Kahoot, so he shot up the school.
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.
When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
Why do school shooters have the best shots?
They train at the best schools. 🤣🤣🧇🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?
The feather.
The rope stopped the kid.
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.