Politician jokes
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.
Why did God make pigs before politicians?
He just needed some practice.
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
What is meals on wheels to a Christian nationalist that is also a conservative Republican politician, a gay man in a wheelchair that is poor and also physically handicapped, and who is also well-endowed?
There's nothing I like more than seeing a politician in a nice suit.
An orange jumpsuit that is :)
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?
A panhandler.
What do a politician and a minister have in common?
Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!
Your move, Ron DeSantis.
What do you get when you cross a panhandler, a politician, a lobbyist, a prostitute, a sodomite, and a Jehovah's Witness knocking on your door at your house to convert you to their religion?
I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.
I've seen too many of them get elected.
A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, "What is a tragedy?"
One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "If my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy."
A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says, "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"
"Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
Putin's Brain:
My name is Joe Biden, and I forgot this message.