Violence jokes
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Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.
So I stabbed him. Now we wait.
I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender.
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.
Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
Philza: PUT THE ORPHAN DOWN TECHNOBLADE- NO DON-
Technoblade: R.I.P orphan
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?