Vehicle jokes
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.
What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.
But what is similar is tha-
Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!
Sorry 'bout that......
Now, as I was saying,
What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.
Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
There are two Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
A cop.
What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
What is the same with a duck and a bicycle? The handlebars--oh, except for the duck.
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
Kaj je pomaranča rekla, ko jo je povozil avto?
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
Why did a cheetah fart? It needed more gas.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."