Bicycle jokes
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
Why do heterosexual men and heterosexual women believe that bisexual men don't exist because male bisexuality doesn't exist? Because it doesn't cycle 🚲.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
What is gay - curious 🤔 😳
👬 👬 a gay man that is curious about experiencing sex with a 👨 👩 👨 bisexual man.
👨 👨 👩 🚲 🚲 🚲 does it cycle now?
🚲 🚲 🚲
😢 😔 sorry for your luck 🍯 honey it sucks 😪 😞 😒 to be you.
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
A little boy was given a bicycle and a soccer ball for his birthday, but why was the little boy unhappy?
Because the little boy had no legs.
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.