Vehicle

Vehicle Jokes

Baby

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

Road

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

Tire

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

Unicycle

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.

Wife

I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."

Car

A girl called me ugly.

So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.

Assassination

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

Bro

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...

Woman

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

Nun

A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.

The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"

The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."

The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"

The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."

At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."

The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."

Lottery Ticket

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

Grandpa

Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.