Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
What does an asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
Some Ting Wheely Wong
why chicken corss road because he get hit by car
What do you call a cab for black men A Cop car
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said thanks for visiting.
A girl called me ugly So I drove over her with a car and called her flat
John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns. The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55." The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!" The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful." At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible." The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead, I scratched it off and won a fucking ford focus!
I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy? Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games
Why did the rapper take the bus to the studio?
Because their car ran out of RHYME
What's a rapper's favorite type of car?
A RHYME ROVER
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory, one day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station,I told her so you can weigh yourself on the truck scale.
A man is pulled over by a police officer.
The policeman approaches the driver's door. "Is there a problem, Officer?"
The officer says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"
The driver responds, "I'd give it to you, but I don't have one."
"You don't have one?"
The man responds, "I lost it four times for drunk driving."
The officer is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"
"I'm sorry, I can't do that."
The officer says, "Why not?"
"I stole this car."
The officer says, "Stole it?"
The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."
At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what?!"
"She's in the trunk if you want to see."
The officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his own car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.
The senior officer says, "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please?"
The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem, sir?"
"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."
"Murdered the owner?"
The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please?"
The man opens the trunk, but there is nothing there.
The officer says, "Is this your car, sir?"
The man says, "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.
The officer, understandably, is quite stunned.
"One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license."
The man digs through his pockets, pulls out a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
"Thank you, sir. One of my officers told me you didn't have a license, stole this car, and murdered the owner."
The man replies, "I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!"
