Vehicle jokes
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."