Vehicle jokes
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
A cop pulls over an old man.
The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
The old man said, "No."
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
What is big and fun and yellow? A school bus!
My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.
Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Yo mama so fat, you must refuel twice to run over her with a car.
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.