Vehicle jokes
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
What’s yellow and can’t swim??
A school bus with elementary kids.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
I would name my dog "Five Miles" so I could say I walk five miles every day, but today I ran over Five Miles.
Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.
I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
How does a train eat?
"Chew chew!"
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?
A: Because it was too tired!! 😴😴😴
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.