How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!
What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber 🥒
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.
I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."
Walnut says, "I look like a brain."
Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."
Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
My mum's a carrot.
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
