Vegetable

Vegetable jokes

Table

If Slade were a vegetable, he’d be a BRUSSELS SPROUT... small, bitter, and NOBODY wants him at the table.

Salad

Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,

Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.

Onion

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop an onion.

Road

Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?

A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.

Memes

Cabbage

Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?

A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.

Food

What do you do with a frozen vegetable?

You wait for it to thaw.

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  • Wheelchair

    I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.

    Guess who likes vegetables now?

    Plate

    What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?

    Boom! Roasted!

    Banana

    When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!

    Try with a cucumber.

    People

    Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?

    Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.

    Kid

    Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?

    A. A mixed vegetable.

    Surgery

    My cousin is a surgeon.

    Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.