What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
What do you do with a frozen vegetable?
You wait for it to thaw.
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
What starts with a "v" and ends with a "k"? A veggie Karen.
Why did da tomato blush?! IT SAW THE SALAD DRESSING YUH!
What’s a cannibal’s favorite food? A vegetable.
What is a cannibal's favorite vegetable?
- Ladies' Finger
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
Spinach
When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!
Try with a cucumber.
Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?
Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
What is a fish's favorite fruit/vegetable?
An avacodo.
