Vegetable jokes
What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?
Cooking the vegetables.
Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,
Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop an onion.
Memes
Do NOT buy a tomato EVER again
What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
What do you do with a frozen vegetable?
You wait for it to thaw.
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
What starts with a "v" and ends with a "k"? A veggie Karen.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite food? A vegetable.
Why did da tomato blush?! IT SAW THE SALAD DRESSING YUH!
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
What is a cannibal's favorite vegetable?
- Ladies' Finger
Spinach
When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!
Try with a cucumber.
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?
Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.