Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
Why do special ed classes have fans?
To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.
Mushroom?
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
Put the wheel wheelchair in the pot
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
