Vegetable jokes
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.
Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
Who is the coolest vegetable?
Rad-ish, of course!
Q. What do you call a hooker in a vegetative state? A. A thot incapable of thought.
What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?
"What's the big dill?"
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?