Vegetable jokes
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
Memes
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
My mum's a carrot.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
I was crying because my dad was cutting onions...
Onions was a good dog.
I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.
Onions was such a good dog!
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
Why did the carrot roll down the hill?
Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”