Vegetable jokes
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
Why did the carrot roll down the hill?
Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair.
My mum's a carrot.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
I was crying because my dad was cutting onions...
Onions was a good dog.