Vegetable jokes
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
Why are hospitals always freezing? They need to keep the vegetables cold.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
Why did the vegetable go to jail?
He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.
Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
What is Beethoven's favorite vegetable?
Beets.
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
Stephen, are you a vegetarian?
I am a vegetable.
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
Why did the rapper visit the farm?
To drop some FRESH BEETS!