Vegetable jokes
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting them back in the wheelchair.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
Why did the vegetable go to jail?
He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
The lettuce and tomato were in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.