Vegetable jokes
What's Jeffrey Epstein's favourite vegetable?
The retarded kid down the street.
Q: What is Michael Jackson's favourite vegetable?
A: The special ed. kid down the street.
What do mermaids put in the salads?
Sea cucumber.
Hi Stephen. Are you a vegetarian?
Well, you are partly right—I'm a vegetable.
Stephen, are you a vegetarian?
I am a vegetable.
What do you call a pool full of disabled people?
Vegetable soup.
What's the difference between an office worker and a vegetable?
They both sit in "wheelchairs," but only one can get out of it.
What's the worst part about eating vegetables from the hospital?
The life support cord.
What do you get when you combine a penis and a potato?
A dictator.
How are Jews and potatoes different?
A potato keeps its skin.
Q. What do you call a hooker in a vegetative state? A. A thot incapable of thought.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting them back in the wheelchair.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
What is the definition of suspicion? A: A nun doing squats in a cucumber field.
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.