Skill jokes
One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.
I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Do you think I can shoot a basketball?
I make it dip like water.
Why are orphans good at math? Because they can subtract their parents from the family.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
Why does the orphan can’t write a single word or sentence?
Because the orphan is dumber.
My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.
I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.
Why did the rapper take a bath before his concert?
To get his flow SQUEAKY CLEAN!
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because he wanted to CUT through the competition!
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
I am counting my fingers and get nine. Why?
The only thing the orphan learned from his dad is the hide-and-seek skill to hide for 18 years. He tried it out; now he has infinite milk.
You're the wrist-slitting simulator champion!
Which tower is better at playing catch? The south tower, obviously. It caught 2!
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.