Ups Jokes

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

People with bad past end up creating the worst future...

How do you make an orphan shut up

You tell his mom

up (DYM 94)

talking to that one friend

A photo of a smiling blonde woman with a text overlay. The text reads "TRY TO TELL JOKES. MESSES THEM UP HORRIBLE EVERY TIME".

In Ukraine, there was a massive wake-up call by Russia. But for some, the results were the opposite.

jeffrey dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee black and ground up

I got sent to the principals office for telling the kid in the wheelchair to stand up for himself

hairline ook like it got slaped up by will smith

Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.

When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.

What is 6 inches tall when bricked up and is loved by women?

A strong man’s biceps.

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.