Ups jokes
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
Now that I think about it, Jane Doe's story actually makes complete sense. If I were dumb enough to show up blackout drunk for a threesome at a frat party, it'd probably also take me 20 days of regret to realize that being raped is a way better look than a gang-bang straight off of Pornhub.
There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why don’t she stand up for herself?
The longer the relationship, the longer the breakup will hurt you. Better break up now ooo.🤣
xthegamer0 is 35. He grew up with GTA5 and is still playing it today.
Everyone is so sensitive about racial issues these days.
All I did was burn a couple crosses and I'm up on federal hate crime charges.
Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?
Brother: Why though?
Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
Why do orphans love tornadoes? Because they always pick you up!
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
Gwen, I thought you would be with me if Prince broke up with you... :((((((
What went up but never came down?
Stephen Hawking's IQ.
Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”
Y'all catch me up, what's going on on this website because I haven't been on for, like, 2 weeks?
If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.
I hate "the woke" so much, I got mad when my mom said I "woke" up late for school.
Why was the rapper always in shape?
Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.