Supply jokes
What gun can’t you find in Africa?
A water gun.
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"SUPPLIES!"
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"
They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"
"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.
“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.
“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.
What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.
I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!