Supply jokes
What gun can’t you find in Africa?
A water gun.
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"SUPPLIES!"
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.
“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.
“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
Why does an orphanage have milk?
Because Dad never came back with the milk.
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"
They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"
"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
Why do you need an AR-15?
So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.