Supply jokes

How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?

Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.

How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?

Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.

What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.

In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.

You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.

Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?

There are Targets everywhere.

What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.

There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?

One has water; the other one doesn’t.

You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.

What is the leader of the school supplies?

The ruler!

What do dogs do when they lose their tail?

They go to the retail store.

What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.

What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.

What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.

What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?

People actually have a use for one of them.

If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

"SUPPLIES!"