Worst Jokes Ever

What's grey and can't fly?

A parking lot.

Who’s the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?

Circumference.

If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."

Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?

Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the bill.

What do you call a black person swimming?

Cursed Minecraft image.

Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.

My gf told me she was pregnant, so I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me why the hell I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.

I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.

A cheetah and a lion are racing.

The cheetah wins.

The lion says, "You a cheetah!"

The cheetah replies, "Nah, you a lion!"

Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you'll never forget!

(Btw I never actually did this irl yet)

So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you'll be sleeping. (The idea is that you'll be sleep talking.) Then you start to cuss and say the most random things like: Hey you can't chew my cud it's mine, plus, you even went swimming today at that damm lake! Also say something like: YOU SON OF A BITCH! *swat in the air once* Then say: Why I made your f*ckin' bed today you stupid parents! *swat three times* And btw try and not smile as hard as it may be cuz they will be looking at you weird. And try to open your eyes just enough so you can see them. And depending on the tipe of parent you have they may wake you up by then or they will get interested and start laughing! Any way, then say: That mother f*cker that lives across the street just said I was ugly, you should do something about it(sibling name) ______. And also say: And if you happen to know where the nearest store is then that would be helpful. Then say: No Hulk! Leave me alone I love you! *swat twice*. Then say: Uncle Timmy Tom you are such a nude nick.(my dad made up the word nude nick, it just means crazy and annoying) Then settle down and lay on your stomach in your "sleep" and make it look like you putting the blanket on you more, but irl it would probably be to hide a smile! I think I will stop there cuz I don't think any one could hold in there laughter that long and if you feel like you can hold out longer then just make something up.

I hope you guys can do this and it goes well for you! Please comment! Byeee!

How do you properly eat a vegetable?

You tip over the wheelchair.

Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.

I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.

Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!

Orphan: *sits there sadly*

When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

You dress her up as an altar boy.

What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?

Georgie floated!

What did the cow say to the fat pig?

Moooooooove over!

They told me I'd never be good at poetry.

But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!

Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!