Worst Jokes Ever
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
I'm lookin' for some good jokes for the best song award. Can y'all help a fellow out?
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Why do people love camping?
Because it's in tents!
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.
I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.