Worst Jokes Ever
They told me I'd never be good at poetry.
But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
When the school lets you near children again...
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
What's the best cure for aging? Suicide.
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."
He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
What’s worse than Sally in one trash can?
Sally in 13 trash cans.
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
Oofer.
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
What did Thanos say when he snapped his finger? Another one bites the dust.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!