Worst Jokes Ever
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.
Asian pregnancy test:
Stick a Rubix cube into pussy.
Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
"Consent is just some fucked up feminist propaganda."
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cakatoo."
"Cakatoo who?"
"So, you're a Rooster now?"
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands!
My sister reminds me of 911: one moan of "OMG" got everyone's attention.
What do you call a crazy computer?
Wired.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
What is the capital of Greece? -- About 10 dollars.
I only listen to waltz 3/4 of the time.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...