Worst Jokes Ever
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you?
I'm a heterosexual man that is so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.
I made a website for orphans.
It has no home page.
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.
Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."