Worst Jokes Ever
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.
Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
I swear I always finish on page 3 when I'm looking at family pictures.
How do you make a lesbian upset?
Give her a multiplication test.
What did the robber say to the clock?
Hands up!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
Don't let an extra chromosome keep you down!
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?
Because he's dead.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, Here's hoping you do too.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"
Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.