Worst Jokes Ever
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
What's black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
Why did Sally get a black eye?
Because she tried to play patty cake.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Taco Bell going out of business.
What is the octopus's favorite shape?
An octagon.
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Stephen Hawking.
What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
A little boy was given a bicycle and a soccer ball for his birthday, but why was the little boy unhappy?
Because the little boy had no legs.
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.
What will you call Burj Khalifa after 100 years?
"Bujurg" Khalifa. (Just a joke)