Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend accused me of cheating, and I said to her, "You're starting to sound like my wife."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken!
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
When you know that everyone thinks you're a hoe.
WHEN Y'ALL ARE MY HOES!
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
Anal intercourse is for assholes.
When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
Plz follow Freddyfatbear and Daddy cock.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.