Worst Jokes Ever
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re unwanted.🤣😢
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.
Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
I donated a computer to the orphanage...
It didn’t have a motherboard.
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
Abortions = yeetis of the fetus.
Yo mama so fat, she needed cheat codes for Wii Fit!
So, two kids argued and insulted each other.
KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"
KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."
I'm gonna stop telling rape jokes...
They just seem so forced.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.
After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.
The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:
"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."
His friends laugh at the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.
After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.
The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.
The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.
The receptionist responds:
"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.
When you know that everyone thinks you're a hoe.
WHEN Y'ALL ARE MY HOES!