Women jokes
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
Okay, guys. Today we're gonna read the Women's Rights of 1920...
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Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.
Men should pay for dates because women have to pay for expensive things like makeup because God didn’t finish their faces.
Women understand each other.
That’s why they argue.
I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?
Because they’ll get chapped lips.
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
I like my women like I like my wine, twelve years old, in the basement, and locked up.
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
Why do lesbians have the highest rate of domestic violence?
Because women are emotional and full of drama.
What do dogs and lesbian women have in common?
They're both lickers and called a bitch.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change anything.
What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.
Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.
What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.