Worst Jokes Ever

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!

Your mom so fat, Thanos had to clap!

What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.

Knock, knock.

Moon, give me cheese.

Why did the girl 👧 bring lipstick 💄 to beauty school?

Because she had a make-up exam.

Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?

'Cause they'll eat the bat!

I have a fat ass.

So I was at high school one day in the bathrooms, and I'm circumcised, and the kid next to me wasn't, so he showed me his pp, and he had a foreskin, so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired...

You're really sexy 😉

Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.

Like if you know someone emo.

What do cheetahs do when they get a test?

They cheat!!!

Dude, has anyone made a joke about small foreheads? Oh wait... they would be nonexistent.

Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.

*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.

*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.

*Me sits down in the chair*

*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.

*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.

*walks out without paying*

*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.

*customer:* I told u she would.

Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field?

Everywhere.

NASA stands for naughty aliens spewing apricots.

What's the grossest mission NASA could do?

Probing Uranus.

Octopus.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

Social distancing.