Worst Jokes Ever
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.
Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.
Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?
Spaghett-hehe.
Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.
The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."
The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.
The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.
The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"
What's your favorite place that orphans can't go to?
Home.
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. Does it cycle?
Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
Why did the bee get married?
Because she found her honey.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.
What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t do drugs.
It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.
Hitler killed 18 million and only died once.
Fucking camper!
What did the Roman say to the gladiator?
See you later, gladiator.