Worst Jokes Ever

Octopus.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

Social distancing.

If the longest word in history is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, then it's big cousin would [be] something longer, right?

Nope, something way longer:

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If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.

Deez nuts!

Captain America is a 106-year-old virgin.

I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.

Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?

Student: Ukraine is history!

Hi, please like for good luck!

My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

Black humor is when you ask water to African people.

What do you call Nicki Minaj covered in glue?

Sticky Minaj.

I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"

Driver's License-By- watersharky Music Productions and Olivia Rodrigo-

I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else? And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone 'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street...

Your mama so white that her first number was 911.

How do you make a plumber die?

You kill his family.

Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?

A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄

Why didn’t the moon eat dinner?

Because it was full! 🌕

I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

What do you call a kid with a special sense of humor? Autism, hahaha!