John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Worst Jokes Ever
Why is death taken so lightly? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)
Who is the coolest vegetable?
Rad-ish, of course!
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button.
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
Why can an orphan only get an iPhone X?
Because there is no home button.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
Please go subscribe to Kane Brown, people; he has good songs. Please go subscribe to him, please.
People at school thought I had special powers. It was something called "Constant supervision."
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
Do fish have tits?
Fish tits.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Answer: They don’t know where home is.
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?