Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
Why does America suck at chess? Because they already lost their two towers.
Why were the Twin Towers upset? Because they ordered pepperoni and cheese pizza, but instead got plain!
My "friend" has dyslexia.
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."
I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...
Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
What do call six gay men going in a war?
Rainbow Six Siege.
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.
Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."
This joke never gets old. Just like the child.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because he doesn't have parents.
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?
Sally's used to being blind!