Worst Jokes Ever

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?

Head and Shoulders.

What did you call a school that got blown up?

You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.

What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.

Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

Teacher: He did not.

Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

Suzy: Then you can ask him.

Teacher: We have a new student. He's an orphan.

Student: Oof.

Teacher: Is anyone missing?

Student: His parents.

You die. LOL!

I posted on my Facebook account that you have a picture on Facebook.

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?

He had a 6 cents of humor.

The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.

There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?

I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!

Why was the Computer late to work?

'Coz it had a hard drive... LMAO

Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!

Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.