Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came back.
What’s it called when an orphan takes a photo?
A family picture.
My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands! (I love this joke because it never grows old.)
What are some red flags?
Chinese, Danish, Spanish, Turkish and Albanian.
I saw your forehead and realized your mom and dad's foreheads were as big as yours. Also, you're gay.
What do you call a squad of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards?
They were going through a stage!
Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
What is gayer than man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀