Worst Jokes Ever
These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie one shoe.
Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
Do you know 6+3?
Other person: Nine.
Nein is no in German.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock because Jill’s real name was Randy.
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Dam.
Why are Americans bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.
Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.
Why do Mexicans only drink hot drinks?
Because they're afraid of ice!
You were born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"