Worst Jokes Ever
Why do people always tell actors to break a leg?
Because every play has a cast.
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where the home is.
Also, what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
Why do orphans always have an iPhone X or above?
So they don’t have a home button. 🤙🏼
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?
Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.
Q: What do you call America in a year? A: A wasteland.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trashcans.
What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school?
He was a cheetah.
If 7 8 9, why was 10 scared?
Because he was between 9 11.
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
2019 Senior Prank: Hey fellas, let's black out the school. Haha, we're so sneaky, oh yes!
2020 Senior Prank: Hey guys, I'm a tech whiz, let's spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha, it'd be so funny and good, even the whole world might fall for it!
Everyone in December 2020 looks at tech whiz: "...you son of a b*tch!!!"
Tech whiz: "You guys are the a**holes! I mean you fell for it for a whole year!"
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.