Worst Jokes Ever

Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?

Because they want to call someone "daddy."

To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.

LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)

I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.

Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.

Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.

And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.

The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.

Dead.

Why are Americans bad at chess?

Because they lost two towers.

You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.

Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.

Do you know 6+3?

Other person: Nine.

Nein is no in German.

What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

Dam.

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.

Why do Mexicans only drink hot drinks?

Because they're afraid of ice!

I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"

I said, "Making holy water."

She said, "How are you making holy water?"

I'm boiling the hell out of it.

Uhhhh...

Do you know what you call a bunch of depressed kids?

"Suicide Squad!"

What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!

I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"

And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"

Why did the big rose say to the little rose?

"Hi, bud."