One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
Time Jokes
I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.
He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
Jokes about menstruation are never funny, period!
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?
It never gets old.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
May.
You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
