Time jokes
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9 and 11.
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
Why are we still fighting in darkness?
"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."
What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!
Happy New Year! 🍆🍑🍆🍑
Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.
Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for people.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they did 98 stories in 10 seconds.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
"Like if u cry everytime."
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.