Time jokes
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
What do you call a night person? A night owl π¦ who is up all night, lol!
Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they did 98 stories in 10 seconds.
Memes
Happy New Year! ππππ
Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesnβt last long for people.
Why are we still fighting in darkness?
"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."
I hate people that hate life.
Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.
*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
Hey, Iβm not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When itβs my Birthday, and when itβs not...
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9 and 11.
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.