Time jokes
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9 and 11.
Happy New Year! 🍆🍑🍆🍑
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they did 98 stories in 10 seconds.
Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
"Like if u cry everytime."
Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for people.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
The time is 9:11, time to put your phones on airplane mode.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.