In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
What is an orphan's favorite event? Homecoming.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."
September 11, bring your plane to work day.
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
Why is 10 so scared? Cause it was in the middle of 9/11.
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
When I die, can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.
what do you call it when you get married in Panera Bread?
Panera Wed.
What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
