Event jokes
I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.
I just overheard this but:
How do you make a party in space?
You planet.
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
Is anyone going to Sawcon?
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
Who are the Fastest Readers in the world?
9/11 victims: They read 87 stories in 10 seconds.
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was tiers.
Yo hairline is too pushed back, looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.
Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but instead they got plain!
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don’t have a Mother's nor Father’s Day.
The British Society of Psychics' annual convention had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances!
I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.
Why does the Tower of Pisa lean?
Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.
Yo mama so fat, she was the lead balloon in the Thanksgiving day parade next to Kermit the Frog.
My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.
Why did the skeleton not go to the party?
What do you read on Halloween?