What is an orphan's favorite event? Homecoming.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."
September 11 bring your plane to work day
Im doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. Its called spastics on elastics
When I die can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?
Two artists had an art contest. -- It ended in a draw.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.
whats the one thing me and the new years ball have in common
its not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this new years
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex.
She was too young.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
If you think about it the 9/11 memorial it just a scoreboard
when was the first black friday?
1619
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.
But it was only on paper view.
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
A funny joke scenario Person 1: Why didn't he skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly fat and nobody liked him
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday. Not a soul in sight.
"did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah it was lit"
I hate prom in Alabama, they always say “uhh actually this is our family reunion” WE ARE IN ALABAMA SO THEY ARE THE SAME
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
