Time jokes
What time is fun?
Time for games!
I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house? Is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today.
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!
What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?
What is your favorite time of day?
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?
Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.
Orphans' calendar consists of 362 days. Why?
Because they don't got homecoming, Father's Day, and Mother's Day.
Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."
Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?