Time jokes

What is the difference between human rights and the Earth?

The Earth has been to be between two games a year after school, a time and fun game that has.

A friend of mine says "Baguette" all the time cuz she is French.

What season is it when you're on a trampoline?

Spring time!

Yo mama so old, she pre-ordered the Bible.

What is a good night's sleep? I love it when you walk home and walk walk home from school. Was your time I had dinner night night? Dinner night, is it fun for me? I o I had dinner.

Don't hate life, love it because when you want to live and try again in life, it's already too late. :(

WJE officially a gone memory.

Say Fentanyl 3 times in the mirror and you'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.

What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?

A waist of time.

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”

“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."

I would have loved to ride the Titanic at least once ;)

iykyk

A paradigm are so bad, go away from fast and fast and faster than a rabbit. Once upon a time there was a rabbit who teased a tortoise. The tortoise challenged the rabbit to a race. The race began and the rabbit ran fast as the tortoise walked slow. The rabbit thought the tortoise could not come here so slow, so he decided to take a nap. As he took a nap, the tortoise walked past through him and soon the rabbit woke. He ran as fast as he could, but when he came to the end, the rabbit saw the tortoise and then the rabbit never teased the tortoise again.

Mom: It's time for sleep.

Baby: Is that what you think, huh?

Mom: *gives baby pacifier*

Baby: Nice try, hobo.

Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.

*few hours later*

Baby: *still awake*

Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!

Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.

If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?

Where did Stephen Hawking spend most of his spare time?...

Currys PC World.

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

Your forehead is so leaned back you can see the dinosaurs.

What is the shortest month of the year?

May, it only has 3 letters!

Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.