Yes you are the one who can get it and what time do I have
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to KILL MYSELF I'd be a millionaire.
Why did jimmy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see time fly.
They said time heals all wounds, well I broke your watch.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked is this train running on time, I said no it runs on steam and coal
What was Hitlers favorite thing to do to pass the time? Smoking
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.
I went home to my girlfriend, with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, even time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted
My Wife: how much do you live me?? Me:count all the stars.My Wife: aww infinity. Me:No a waste of time.
Child:Hello I can’t find my dad.stranger:Oh well when and where did you last see him?child:Oh I remember 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
10 years ago my dad said i should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... i still eat cereal with water sadly
What’s the difference between a job and a wife
The job keeps sucking after 5 years
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed? Time to hit the sack!!!!
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story? - Juans upon a time
Dad: What time do u wanna go to the dentist? Daughter: *tooth hurty* Dad: all right
Hi 👋 I love 💕 you know I do what a good night of a good time and time to go oooo
